Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Copyediting and Sentence Combining

Copyediting includes deleting words in individual sentences to make them more concise, but sometimes it's helpful to combine sentences when the thoughts are close enough.

1. "It's been over six months since Hurricane Ike devastated our island. And with it, our homes, our businesses and our lives--all turned as topsy-turvy as the contents of our dwellings when the floodwaters subsided."

It's been over six months since Hurricane Ike devastated our island and with it our homes, our businesses, and our lives--all turned as topsy-turvy as the contents of our dwellings when the floodwaters subsided.


2. "In that time, we've seen remarkable changes occur, the result of the remarkable spirit of generostiy and neighborliness that represents the best of us humans. From the very beginning, with the army of boom trucks that descended upon us from, literally, all over the United States, to help begin to untangle the snarled chaos that had been our electrical grid, to the throng of young people here from various schools and churches during their Spring Break to help us clean up."

In that time, we've seen remarkable changes occur, the result of the remarkable spirit of generosity and neighborliness that represents the best of us humans from the very beginning, with the army of boom trucks that descended upon us from, literally, all over the United States, to help begin to untangle the snarled chaos that had been our electrical grid, to the throng of young people here from various schools and churches during their Spring Break to help us clean up.

3. "And yet it is just that--the impermanence of things, change--that I want to discuss as we move towards the creation of our own authentic homes. Because Ike has given us the perfect opportunity to rearrange our homes, our lives, ourselves into new arrangements and patterns that suit us more."

And yet it is just that--the impermanence of things, change--that I want to discuss as we move towards the creation of our own authentic homes, because Ike has given us the perfect opportunity to rearrange our homes, our lives, ourselves in to new arrangements and patterns that suit us more.

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