Cohesion and Arrangement Problems

Sometimes the ideas, the sentences, are good, but are just not in the right order. These things will probably be noticeable on your first read of a text, though you are also noticing problems with spelling, grammar, syntax, etc., but save those for after you've taken care of the details. Then go back and analyze the ideas and their order and the sentences within each paragraph and their order and what that order does for and to the text. If the ideas cohere, no need to rearrange. But if some things are discussed before they should be, or after, or things seem out of place, or if ideas just don't fit together well within the larger thesis of the piece, you will have to rearrange things, or omit information, or perhaps tell the writer to add some more information if something is not explained thoroughly enough, or if, after necessary rearrangement, there is a need for a transition from one part of the idea to the next.

For example:

"Tropical plants have fascinated us for years. They have been brought from other hot and humid parts of the world tempting local gardeners to give them a try in their own gardens and indeed many will not only thrive but will flourish with a little effort and even gentle care.

Tropical flowers are blessed with their own unique beauty. Most are highly colorful, showy and bright and pink varieties seem to be the most popular. Tropical flowers grow best in well-drained areas with plenty of sunshine. Pink tropical plants for zone nine include . . . [chart follows]."

The first paragraph ends with information about the care that tropical plants need. The reader expects the next paragraph to pick up that idea and contain information on how to care for those plants. But it begins with how beautiful they are, and only gets to the growing needs in the third sentence. Some arrangement is necessary, and actually the two paragraphs can be combined:

Tropical plants have fascinated us for years. They have been brought from other hot and humid parts of the world, blessed with their own unique beauty and tempting local gardeners to give them a try in their own gardens. Most are highly colorful--showy and bright and pink varieties seem to be the most popular. Many will not only thrive but will flourish with a little effort and even gentle care. They grow best in well-drained areas with plenty of sunshine.

When editing for cohesion, remember that paragraphs and even sentences can be combined to make the ideas and the sentences fit correctly.

Global Problems

As well as details like typos, incorrect grammar, incorrect punctuation, etc., there can be global problems in a text. These include lack of cohesion and organization: the information may be grammatically correct, but it's simply in the wrong place in the paragraph or the text and these problems also hinder the readers. The following example contains all sorts of errors, but I want to use it to illustrate global problems:

Editing Sample

Original

Whether one arrives by car bus, plain, train or boat, the skiline will took your breath away. A single visit to New york will tell you why the city is both loved. And hated by so many people. And the streets seem so durty. cans and bags and newspapers lay in the guters an on the sidwalks, or somtimes fly acros you’re path. even the people who do not speek English won’t smile or say excuse me or give one good directions. The thril will only be hightened when you walk. Down the canyons formed by skyscrapers. look in the shop windows. go to the theatre, or a museum. stroll in the nayborhoods where no one speeks english. You starts to notise the noise of trafic and get annoyed at crowds. But all is not perfect--far form it. You has the same love-hate feelings as everyone else does. after a few days, when you’re reactions balance out.

In the revision, I have corrected the problems, including the global ones:

Edited and Revised

A single visit to New York will tell you why the city is both loved and hated by so many people. Whether you arrive by car, bus, plane, train, or boat, the skyline will take your breath away. The thrill will only be heightened when you walk down the canyons formed by skyscrapers. Look in the shop windows. Go to the theatre or a museum. Stroll in the neighborhoods where no one speaks English.
But all is not perfect--far from it. You start to notice the noise of traffic and get annoyed at crowds. Even the people who do not speak English will not smile or say "Excuse me." The streets seem so dirty. Cans, bags, and newspapers lie in the gutters, on the sidewalks, or sometimes fly across your path. When your reactions balance out after a few days, you have the same love-hate feelings as everyone else does.

So when you ask someone to copyedit your work or if you are copyediting someone else's work, remember to look for these global errors and correct them, for the writer's and readers' benefit.

Note

Unfortunately I cannot remember the source of this editing sample, though I think I received it years ago from someone who taught composition.